born this way (and still happy about it)

Hello kittens,

One of the best things about taking myself out of the queerer-than-thou race is that I feel totally liberated and empowered to call people on their identity colonialist postmodern poseur bullshit.


Yes, this all starts with a Lady Gaga song. If you feel disinclined to read the rest of this post based on that fact, feel free to redirect yourself now. Here, go get your nails done. (Can’t stop listening to that record!)

Lady Gaga got piled on faster than fresh waffles at Big Boy when she released Born This Way. Half because people claimed the anthem was just to get played at gay clubs (as if she had a problem getting played at gay clubs before).

But I’m much more interested in the people who acted like Lady Gaga had lit Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore in effigy by claiming it’s totally okay to be who you are.


My family has known I was gay since 1988, and, for the record, I was born in 1986. I was born this way.

Most of that song was about being proud of things about which there is objectively no choice and which people might give you shit for which you should still feel totally awesome about.

But because of these two fucking lines:

No matter gay, straight or bi. Lesbian, transgender life.
I’m on the right track, baby. I was born to survive

people acted as though Lady Gaga had like, proclaimed that queers by choice didn’t exist.

I didn’t *actively* pick my identity from a postmodern hipster rolodex. But ya know what? I am still fucking happy as a pig in shit about being a gay~ish man~ish polyamorous human creature.

I will not acknowledge anyone’s superiority complex about choosing queerness. I am so fucking tired of not saying this: I will have this conversation when queers by choice pick a spokesperson whose argument isn’t “you’re not orally pleasuring my privilege in the manner to which I have unduly grown accustomed!”

Just because I honestly feel I was born queer doesn’t make my identity old-fashioned or outmoded or fucking invalid. I would never fucking say that, had I had a choice in the matter, I would have selected heterosexuality, and I resent the implication that, just because I was born this way means I would.

You don’t get a cookie for your identity colonialism. You don’t. Not from me. And you don’t get to tell me about the relative worth of my queerness when you assume queerness.

/end transmission

Big Mama Schlomo

One thought on “born this way (and still happy about it)

  1. Pingback: I don’t care why I’m gay |

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