Proper epilation

Proper epilation

I think the trick is to shave twice, never going over an area once denuded of soap. The trick is also exfoliation, and very hot water, and probably not using your boyfriend’s razor without telling him.

I think the trick is not getting caught with a thousand and one tiny toilet paper squares on your face after a quiz bowl competition and you looked at your teammate’s face the whole time and all you can think is that you don’t want peach fuzz, ever. Your replacement seventh-grade science teacher still had peach fuzz, and it was unsettling.

The trick is probably not going more than a decade without shaving only once every two years, give or take a moody and unusually warm February day when you just lose it, and you have to explain to one of your roommates that you’ll buy her a whole pack of new razors, just as soon as you can get your Volkswagen running.

The trick to perfect eyebrow shaping is to be watching The Seven Year Itch the whole time, if you can, but you might have to go to the bathroom and use the big bright lights of your vanity to do the eye on the side of your non-dominant hand, I’m just warning you.

The trick to tucking is to leave enough hair to give the duct tape something to hold onto, but not so much that it rips the hair out when you need to piss between numbers, so you should probably use your boyfriend’s electric trimmer without telling him.

The trick is trimming, okay? Don’t try to get rid of years worth of hair with a drugstore razor. And also exfoliation, lots of hot water, and lying.

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