And don’t forget to stand up straight

And don’t forget to stand up straight

You’re a strange little boy, but we surmise that we’d love you if you were just a little bit different.

Now don’t forget to stand up straight!

You’ll never amount to anything really, the way you are.

And you’ve got to stand up straight!

The teachers are right, you’ve got to talk less and accept authority more. And stand up straight, for the love of God.

Which you’ll never earn or know because you’re a queer, but I mean, honestly, you’ve got to stand up straight.

You’ve got to be ashamed of your little bitch tits, and you’ve got to stand up straight! Wanna hack em off? Well stand up straight.

Don’t let it get to you when auntie throws plastic spiders at you, she’s just getting back at me. And stop slouching! People throw spiders at little boys who slouch and are afraid of spiders.

Do you want to end up with a bad back? Because that’s how it happens! Weak little bent-necked shits like you slouch too long, and then you wreck your back. Is that what you want, you little shit? So stand up straight!

Don’t cry when he hits you. And stand up straight! You only get one family, and you better honor it, you little fairy!

You’re certainly not coming to church with us anymore. And you’re not gonna be bringing any of your so-called boyfriends around. Is that really what you want, son? You want to get shit on your dick?

Now get up on out of here. And stand up straight on your way out!

Nobody wants to hear about your problems, man, that shit’s old. People would like you a lot better if you just smiled. And you know, man, I’m a straight rich white guy and I’ve got problems, too – what about that!? Also hey man, what if you like worked on your posture?

And you gotta stand up straight if you’re gonna get a date, tubbo. You gotta spend a lot of money and you should probably get those tits hacked, and hey, did you know you’re really imposing when you don’t slouch. But also, you’ve got to stand up straight.

If you stand up straight, it’ll remind you to be like all the other people you’ll never become. If you don’t punish yourself, how will you change? Now remain invisible and stand up fucking straight!

Look. Look back at all the ancestors who got you here. In an unbroken line of racially pure succession. Look at them, and feel their aching disappointment. Look at the children you’ll never have, and the wife you’ll never hold. Look at all the money you’ll never make and all the bosses’ asses you won’t kiss. It’s a real fucking sadness to be a relation of yours.

And stand up straight. Faggot.

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