Holidays on the Dole!

MerryHappy Christmahanukwanzaakah, Kittens:

As has become something of a bizarre tradition for me, it’s holiday time and I’m sending a little EP your way. It’s called “Holidays on the Dole!”, and it’s a really winner-winner chicken dinner.

Murderous cats! Phony radio advertisements! Vaguely British totally uptight mothers! Sleigh bells! All with original and traditional holiday music.

Holidays on the Dole!” also features my new song, “Checkmate,” which *is* a jaunty waltz and is *not* a chess metaphor.

In case you haven’t caught on, you can download a zip file of the whole dern thing right here. Like all of my other releases to date, it is completely 100% free. I’d kindly appreciate it if you’d make a charitable donation, though. Your choice.

For sound nerds: fuck mp3s. I am so tired of mp3s. The zip file contains .aif files, which will play just dandy in yer iTuneses and on your iDevices. Trust me. I’ve done my researches.

And, in case you can’t tell from the name of the fifth track, “Holidays on the Dole!” probably isn’t safe for work, unless you’re Dan Savage or me.

Ok, kittens. A blessing on your head.

Love,
Big Mama Schlomo

Checkmate (single release)

Happy Holidays (on the Dole!), Kittens!

I’m over the full moon to show you the cover art for my new holiday EP, “Holidays on the Dole!” and also to share with you one of the tracks, “Checkmate.” For those of you who adore a quirky waltz – hey, it’s one of those! And for those of you who hate chess metaphors – don’t worry, it isn’t one.

Checkmate

Adore this woeful holiday tale in health, kittens, and check back to schlomosteel.com on December 13 for the release of the full EP, “Holidays on the Dole!”

Love you, kittens,
Big Mama Birthday Boy Schlomo

Orchestrated Underwear Is Here!

The time has come….for you to dance – FOR YOUR LIFE! Naw, just playin’.

Actually, the time has come for you to download my sparklingy fantabulous new album, ORCHESTRATED UNDERWEAR. As Martha Stewart might say: it’s a good thing.

Or as Nike might say: just do it! It’s free. FREE. What the hell is free anymore? I’ll tell you what. Chlamydia. But that’s another story.

Download at your leisure, listen at your pleasure.

Love,
Big Mama Schlomo

[Edit: I was greatly saddened on rising this morning to learn of the death of one of my personal heroines, Poly Styrene, best known as the leader of the seminal punk band, X-Ray Spex. Poly Styrene dreamt of a better world, and I hope you’ll think of her as you make donations in lieu of paying for OU.]

englebert humperdinck

If you’ve told the same person more than once that young Englebert Humperdinck was attractive, you may have a problem. (My sincerest apologies to my very understanding boyfriend.)

In other news, I’ve got an album coming round in about a month. Exciting, non? I do hope you’ll pop back here to keep up and my comings and goings. To tempt you back, here’s the audio of the album’s first single, “(It’s True That I Don’t Buy Underwear) Because I’m Single.”

Love you, kittens,
Big Mama Schlomo

schlomo sings stereo total, y’all

It’s true. He does. Well, he did.

Click here.

Hugs and kisses (and a happy birthday to me),
Big Mama Schlomo